claim your kinks

Don’t waste another hour shame-spiraling about your kinks and how to communicate/enjoy them.

I’m KJ and I give you hours of your time back by helping you confidently claim your kinks and finally feel like yourself.

You do not need to carry your shame.

Read that again. Then read it one more time and let it sink in. In my ten years of practice in kink facilitation, I have found time and again that what people really want from kink is to be closer to themselves… and closer with God.

I'm here to help you connect with yourself, to give voice to your desires, and to find the kind of erotic fulfillment that expands your life and deepens your connection with the sacred.

Listen to this interview about Holistic Kink + what I offer

Cultivating Erotic Dignity through Conscious Kink

Let's be clear: this ain't just about sex. This ain't about outfits or play parties or partners. This is about you. I approach kink as practice grounds for deepening your relationship with yourself and with God. Through kink, you get to practice in real time what surrender feels like, what giving feels like, what receiving feels like. The best part? You can have these experiences with yourself, without any studded leather, expensive toys, or anyone else in the room.

Through cultivating your Erotic Dignity:

  • You will know yourself better.

  • You will make decisions that are more aligned with your values.

  • You will learn to give and receive within your means, with greater integrity.

  • You will feel more completeness and at-home-ness whether alone or in partnership.

In a word, working with KJ was…fuckingamazing.

I wanted their eye on me, I wanted their particular brand of medicine. I didn’t even know what it was, I just knew it was good. I heard myself SING. I came to get better tools to work with so that I could speak from a place of authenticity that is rooted in who I am. I wanted help with that and I got it. I’ll be back for more because you never graduate from greatness. They are my Muse, my guide, my teacher.”

Bernadette Pleasant, Founder of The Emotional Institute

I don’t really think I knew what my voice was before working with KJ.

Their soft, no-bullshit approach allowed me to soften, deepen. I own my own coaching business and was inspired to see how working with them would support all aspects of my life. Holy smokes. After just two months of biweekly sessions, this work supported me with my own clients, in my personal relationships, and that is just the beginning…

Kelsey Beth, Sex and Intimacy Coach

Working with KJ continues to shed layers of inhibitions

…and insecurities around my embodied leadership- which is so woven into my self expression as a whole. I come home to new (and old) parts of me every time we have a session. I see the work in the way I dom, the way I submit, and the way I speak my needs in all areas of life. I didn’t know how much I needed this work until we dove in. Thank you.

Chimera C, Tantric Kink Coach and Dominatrix

Bring voice to the invisible

Deepening the connections between listening, speaking, and kink will take time. Doing too much too soon is like trying to play an instrument that you've never practiced in front of an audience of strangers. You deserve more care than that. Most people need real-time support in tuning into what their bodies have been asking for and learning how to advocate for their needs. Most people need practice speaking their desires and boundaries out loud before they feel confident speaking them to a partner.

We'll start slow. You may wonder if focusing on listening and speaking is far too simple. It's not.

Let’s get clear on three things:

  • There is no shame in requiring this type of support.

  • There is no benefit in rushing this process.

  • You are not "behind" if this is difficult for you.

I am here to slow down with you and help you lean into the process of listening in, knowing yourself better, and speaking to your deepest truths. I am here to be your witness.

EROTIC CONSULTING

FAQ

  • My clients range from farmers in their 20s to Wall Street Finance leaders in their 60s. I work with people just starting out and people with tons of experience. My people show up with a willingness to dive in, even if theyre uncomfortable to start.

  • Only you can decide that. I welcome brand newbies. Come as you are.

  • 1) I whole-heartedly welcome taboo

    2) I offer sliding scale for people of systemically marginalized communities.

    3) As a queer trans non-binary person, you can rest assured that you are welcome as you are in my space.

  • When I say erotic, I am referencing Eros which I relate to as life force energy. Eros is not necessarily sexual, though it can be.

  • Yeah, I say God. A lot. As a queer, nonbinary human I know full well that there are many reactions to both the word and idea of God. The God I know is inclusive, queer themselves, and wildly compassionate. My practice is not specific to any faith tradition and I fully invite you to enter this work with your own ideas and words around God, Spirit, Higher Power, etc. Wherever you are on your faith journey, I am here to walk with you.

ABOUT

Stats:
1:1 Clients served: 472
80% of new clients cry upon first session
90% report greater confidence in their sexuality + voice

Facilitation Highlights
Touch & Play (Erotic Grief Ritual, Voice for Kink)
Wholistic Kink (Spiritual Power of Conscious Kink)
River Dragon Ranch (Spiritual Power of Conscious Kink)
Mystery Temple LA (Sacrelicious: Featured Facilitator)
The Earth Temple (Sing Praise)
The School For the Great Turning (Featured Songleader)
Heartward Sanctuary (Featured Songleader)
9 Mountain Retreats( Featured Songleader)
HERStory (Featured Songleader)

CONNECT WITH ME